I Was a Condescending Jerk

Dear ManagerJS,

I’m upset about something stupid I did yesterday. I was in a meeting with several peers. One of them suggested an improvement to our hiring practices. Before I knew what I was thinking I was already speaking. I said, “I categorically reject that suggestion.” Can you believe that? Not, “I see it a different way,” or even, “I disagree.” But, “categorically reject.” Really?!

What a condescending jerk.

Within a few moments I was uncomfortable. It didn’t take long for me to realize I had gone really wrong. I played it out in my head. Slow motion. Trying to see why I did that.

The suggestion was one we had talked about before. I largely agreed with him. I just hadn’t found a way to really implement it. It wasn’t a top priority for me.

I see now that I felt called out — attacked. I see now that the thing that really drew attention to my shortcomings was my own impulsive blabbing

How could I have avoided my outburst? What could I have done in the moment to keep my head? Continue reading I Was a Condescending Jerk

I’m Sorry I Was Rude Today

You can have intellectual curiosity. You can relish inquiry. But I still think people don’t like being wrong. And as much as I dislike being wrong, I hate being in the wrong.

I snapped at a direct report today. It was in a tense voice, at a normal volume. It was one sentence long. Continue reading I’m Sorry I Was Rude Today